i wasn't ashamed of loving you
but
though i didn't feel it
i knew it
that emptiness is subsuming
or, is it comforting?
i remember laughing
i remember staring
i remember feeling held
and adrift
was this hard because love is hard?
did i mistake work for worth?
i felt drained when we were together
withered when we were apart
will I feel this forever?
does everyone?
would it matter?
you weren't giving me drugs
weren't giving me liquor
weren't giving me sex
yet you were destructive
yet i loved you
you weren't ashamed of loving me
but
though you didn't feel it
you knew it
we consumed each other
but weren't sated
we just destroyed